i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
