how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
how drunk are you?
Several
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
