don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
