Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
