I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
