I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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