This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
