I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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