I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
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is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
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My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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