On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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