Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
