The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Acid is not a monday night drug
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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