If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
