I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
