Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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