I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
