If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
