So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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