Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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