just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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