Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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