i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
