I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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