4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize