I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
