We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
