if i died would you start the facebook group?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
