the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize