people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I got her a Nickelback box set.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
