Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
