I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize