Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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