So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
