So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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