yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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