check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
