Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
