did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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