how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
