whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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