this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
