your room smells of hookers.
And success
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
