I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
