The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
