He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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