Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
