i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
