Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
How external is "for external use only"?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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