love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
