My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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