So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
