just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
