If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You left your phone here
Wait...
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