Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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