this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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